Calling... Me

I feel a faint breeze whisper across my skin as the hairs on my arms rise in synchronized motion, pulling up chill bumps. In the distance, I hear the slowly rolling thunder, an impending storm no doubt. The corner of my eye catches a glimpse of some illustrious glow, flashing in the night. I turn to look and it is gone. My nose is filled with the fragrance of a certain rainfall, and I know the time for the earth’s cleansing and renewal is approaching. The ground begins to shake ever so gently, the repercussions of clouds clapping in unison. There it is again, that… thing… that… light. I look to the west… it is gone. The wind begins to pick-up as hands from the Heavens unroll billowing clouds as dark as the night. Suddenly, I feel the sensation of a droplet sinking through my hair, making it’s way down my forehead… slowly, to the tip of my nose. I smile as I close one eye, and watch the drop with my other… and then… it jumps. Falling to the ground saying nothing, I hear it land, assuring me it has arrived. There it is again… the light. I look up in time to see an explosion of colors crackling through the night sky and almost instantly, the ground groans, perhaps in displeasure from pain. Frozen in my tracks, a fear consumes me as the wind angrily howls, the lighting strikes twice in all places, the ground rocks, the rain begins to pour and like the sounds from a symphony culminating into one note for the grand beginning the storm… stops… never begins… nothing… but silence. I wait… don’t move… and faster than it arrived, it is now gone. Still… silent… what happened? I feel a faint breeze whisper across my skin as the hairs on my arms rise in synchronized motion, pulling up chill bumps. Yes, Lord?

1 Kings 19:9-13

Keep On

As we come to the end of our week on repentance, we must continue to “produce fruit in keeping with repentance.” In other words, we must continue doing the things God has called us to so that our life will be fruitful, a sign of a heart turned to God. The topic of repentance is not fun, in fact, I believe it to be a “hot topic” that we often believe we should stay away from. However, as we move forward, we must continue to walk in repentance as God calls us to an extraordinary life in Him, and we must help in calling others to the same repentance. The hope and truth of the Gospel is when we do repent, we can walk in God’s Kingdom, because it is near!

Although this is the last day of our meditation on repentance, this is simply one more day in which we should seek the Lord in this way. I wish that you could rip me open to understand how serious and desperate I am that we would repent as the body of Christ, and as individuals, so that we might walk in the power of the Lord. Imagine with me a church that is known by it’s extraordinary faith, it’s enduring hope, and unconditional love. Imagine people flocking to be a part of the ministry, not because of some clever marketing or creative communication, but because God’s power is on display, and people are changed in an instant. That is my prayer, that is my hope, and that is why I am here right now for this moment in my generation. It all begins with repentance.

Matthew 3:1-12; 4:12-17

I Do, but I Don't

As we look at the state of the church today, I sometimes wonder if we really are the church at all. How could the very thing that is the strength, the very body, the actual bride of Christ be rendered so broken and powerless? It’s not just an issue of each of us needing to repent of our ways individually. I believe that repentance needs to come from us collectively. We do not just need reformation in the church, we need repentance. Look at what we’ve done to her. We have made her into something she is not. We have dressed her in clothes that fit our style, thinking she might not be attractive to everyone. In doing so, we have turned her into a harlot, servicing men and women in return for their consistent visitation of her. We have presented her to the masses gathered in buildings, instead of walking with her to the people. We have put her in a place under our control, falsely thinking she would just stay there for us to visit when it was the specified time. We have imprisoned her power, thinking some may be turned away if they really saw her strength, beauty and glory. We’ve done this because we’ve never really seen her in all her splendor. We have not encouraged people to meet her, to get to know her. Instead, we have spoken for her, interpreted for her, and we’ve made her words more palatable so people wouldn’t be offended and therefore like us. We have so rarely spent time with her that we don’t really know the bride. If we don’t know the bride, how can we possibly know the groom?

The bride will not be held down or shackled forever. She will rise with vengeance and power, never to be controlled or dominated, and never to be abused or mistaken again. She will arise in true glory and splendor, in all of her beauty. Like a woman scorned, the only way to walk in her love is to repent, turn back and love her like we did at first.

You see that bride is us, and we have rendered ourselves powerless, thinking the church was something we simply looked at. For too long we have believed we were simply to dress her and be concerned about her appearance, when in fact, we have been destroying ourselves. One day, our groom will return to be united with us, His bride, His church. When that day comes, I pray that we will be splendored in power and beauty in His eye. We have not been a faithful bride, and it is time for the church to repent of our ways and our lack of faithfulness.

2 Chronicles 7:14, Rev. 2:4-5

On My Own

Although I am dust, I am capable. Although I am out of control, I control much. In spite of limited knowledge, I feel as if I know everything. Much of what I do is based on what I want to do, and sometimes… okay, maybe often… alright… most of the time, I hide behind a prayer veil. If I claim to pray and be in line with God, who could possibly question me? I am free to judge, to condemn, to bring about skepticism without actually testing the spirits. It is my way, although I claim it is His. It is my past, even though I speak of His future. I bring division under the guise of concerned unity builder. Forgiveness is acceptable as long as you say you’re sorry first. I am quick to point out hypocrisy, but have legitimate excuses for my own. I think you should chase me, make me feel important, overlook all that is wrong with me so I can tell you what is wrong with you. When you don’t meet my standard others will be the first to know. When things don’t go as I think they should, I’ll make sure to point out the error of your ways.

Who am I? I am… on my own. I am building the faith of my Father on my own terms, neither following Him nor living at peace with those around me. I am neither lost, nor am I a true disciple.

It’s day 3, and God is calling us to repent!

Job 34:33

33 Should God then reward you on your terms, when you refuse to repent? You must decide, not I; so tell me what you know.

Stripped Bare

I’m journeying the most difficult time in my life, praying for someone who has made some devastating decision, leaving me wounded and broken. I pray that God will change them, to let them see the error of their ways. In a moment that I will never forget, God speaks to me and says, “who are you that you should think your relationship with that person is more important than the relationship that they have with me?” I am silent, frozen in my tracks. God begins an awakening in me that I can only describe as Him putting His fingers in my eyes and mouth and ripping off my flesh. He holds it up in front of my face, and I begin to see me for who I really am. I am a sinner, messed up, walking a thin line between who I should be and who I truly am. I am two-faced, double-minded, yelling like a saint but living like a sinner. The literal agony and pain of seeing myself, and understanding what I have done to our God, my Savior, is almost unbearable. For weeks I carry this burden, seeing the pain I have inflicted on the One who came for me.

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

All that remains is repentance. From the depths of my soul I cry out in desperation for help, for death, for anything but this way of life. It’s the place where I say enough is enough, Lord I surrender, I turn to you. I have been divided, crushed, stripped bare.

Hebrews 4:12-13

Turn Around

I’ll never forget the overwhelming feeling as I drove the car through a very secluded area. It was like a scene out of the movies, as trees surrounded me, and the only light was that of the moon and my headlights. Then… the road suddenly narrowed to one-lane. There was something spiritually significant in the moment, as what I thought was fear, grasped my insides telling me to turn back. I drove another quarter of a mile when I suddenly came upon a car in the middle of the road, turned upside-down, windows shattered, and the doors spray-painted. In a moment, I felt as if eyes were watching me, waiting for the moment to attack. My senses literally went into overdrive, my vision narrowed, my breath quickened, and I quickly turned the car around and sped away. I never really “saw” anything, but I’ll never forget that I sensed “something” was out there. My experience led me to share the quick story with a man that I met, a native of the area. When I described to him where I had been, the look on his face sharpened, as he explained to me that I should have never been out there. The place that I had driven that night was known by the locals to be off-limits. Behind the trees that had surrounded me that night lived tribes of people who were known to practice witchcraft and Satanism. Because of it’s seclusion, even law-enforcement often stayed away. In that area, there had been over 100 murders over time, and many of the victims, who were family members of the tribes, had been sacrificed. I realized that what I thought had been fear in me had literally been God’s Spirit alerting me to turn around and get out of there. Had I kept down that path, there is no telling what could have happened.

Isn’t life the same way? I love the story of David in Psalm 139. As I read it, I get the picture of a man who is on the run. Everywhere he goes, God is there, and he finds that he can’t escape the powerful hand of God. In verse 5 David says, “You hem me in-behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.” In David’s searching and travel, we find God “hemming” him in. It’s almost as if God says, “stop running, there is no where you can go that I can’t get to you.” It’s that same voice that spoke to me that night as I traveled down the road that told me to stop driving that direction, and to turn around.

How many of us in our life are on a path that leads to destruction? It may be a road traveled with pride, anger, lust, immorality, lying, cheating, hatred, bitterness, or divisiveness. God is telling you and me to stop running. Stop going down that path, there is nowhere we can go that His hand cannot reach.

Turn around and go the other way. That is what it means to repent. Where in your life is God calling you to stop running, turn around… repent?

Psalm 139