Calling... Me

I feel a faint breeze whisper across my skin as the hairs on my arms rise in synchronized motion, pulling up chill bumps. In the distance, I hear the slowly rolling thunder, an impending storm no doubt. The corner of my eye catches a glimpse of some illustrious glow, flashing in the night. I turn to look and it is gone. My nose is filled with the fragrance of a certain rainfall, and I know the time for the earth’s cleansing and renewal is approaching. The ground begins to shake ever so gently, the repercussions of clouds clapping in unison. There it is again, that… thing… that… light. I look to the west… it is gone. The wind begins to pick-up as hands from the Heavens unroll billowing clouds as dark as the night. Suddenly, I feel the sensation of a droplet sinking through my hair, making it’s way down my forehead… slowly, to the tip of my nose. I smile as I close one eye, and watch the drop with my other… and then… it jumps. Falling to the ground saying nothing, I hear it land, assuring me it has arrived. There it is again… the light. I look up in time to see an explosion of colors crackling through the night sky and almost instantly, the ground groans, perhaps in displeasure from pain. Frozen in my tracks, a fear consumes me as the wind angrily howls, the lighting strikes twice in all places, the ground rocks, the rain begins to pour and like the sounds from a symphony culminating into one note for the grand beginning the storm… stops… never begins… nothing… but silence. I wait… don’t move… and faster than it arrived, it is now gone. Still… silent… what happened? I feel a faint breeze whisper across my skin as the hairs on my arms rise in synchronized motion, pulling up chill bumps. Yes, Lord?

1 Kings 19:9-13

Keep On

As we come to the end of our week on repentance, we must continue to “produce fruit in keeping with repentance.” In other words, we must continue doing the things God has called us to so that our life will be fruitful, a sign of a heart turned to God. The topic of repentance is not fun, in fact, I believe it to be a “hot topic” that we often believe we should stay away from. However, as we move forward, we must continue to walk in repentance as God calls us to an extraordinary life in Him, and we must help in calling others to the same repentance. The hope and truth of the Gospel is when we do repent, we can walk in God’s Kingdom, because it is near!

Although this is the last day of our meditation on repentance, this is simply one more day in which we should seek the Lord in this way. I wish that you could rip me open to understand how serious and desperate I am that we would repent as the body of Christ, and as individuals, so that we might walk in the power of the Lord. Imagine with me a church that is known by it’s extraordinary faith, it’s enduring hope, and unconditional love. Imagine people flocking to be a part of the ministry, not because of some clever marketing or creative communication, but because God’s power is on display, and people are changed in an instant. That is my prayer, that is my hope, and that is why I am here right now for this moment in my generation. It all begins with repentance.

Matthew 3:1-12; 4:12-17

I Do, but I Don't

As we look at the state of the church today, I sometimes wonder if we really are the church at all. How could the very thing that is the strength, the very body, the actual bride of Christ be rendered so broken and powerless? It’s not just an issue of each of us needing to repent of our ways individually. I believe that repentance needs to come from us collectively. We do not just need reformation in the church, we need repentance. Look at what we’ve done to her. We have made her into something she is not. We have dressed her in clothes that fit our style, thinking she might not be attractive to everyone. In doing so, we have turned her into a harlot, servicing men and women in return for their consistent visitation of her. We have presented her to the masses gathered in buildings, instead of walking with her to the people. We have put her in a place under our control, falsely thinking she would just stay there for us to visit when it was the specified time. We have imprisoned her power, thinking some may be turned away if they really saw her strength, beauty and glory. We’ve done this because we’ve never really seen her in all her splendor. We have not encouraged people to meet her, to get to know her. Instead, we have spoken for her, interpreted for her, and we’ve made her words more palatable so people wouldn’t be offended and therefore like us. We have so rarely spent time with her that we don’t really know the bride. If we don’t know the bride, how can we possibly know the groom?

The bride will not be held down or shackled forever. She will rise with vengeance and power, never to be controlled or dominated, and never to be abused or mistaken again. She will arise in true glory and splendor, in all of her beauty. Like a woman scorned, the only way to walk in her love is to repent, turn back and love her like we did at first.

You see that bride is us, and we have rendered ourselves powerless, thinking the church was something we simply looked at. For too long we have believed we were simply to dress her and be concerned about her appearance, when in fact, we have been destroying ourselves. One day, our groom will return to be united with us, His bride, His church. When that day comes, I pray that we will be splendored in power and beauty in His eye. We have not been a faithful bride, and it is time for the church to repent of our ways and our lack of faithfulness.

2 Chronicles 7:14, Rev. 2:4-5

On My Own

Although I am dust, I am capable. Although I am out of control, I control much. In spite of limited knowledge, I feel as if I know everything. Much of what I do is based on what I want to do, and sometimes… okay, maybe often… alright… most of the time, I hide behind a prayer veil. If I claim to pray and be in line with God, who could possibly question me? I am free to judge, to condemn, to bring about skepticism without actually testing the spirits. It is my way, although I claim it is His. It is my past, even though I speak of His future. I bring division under the guise of concerned unity builder. Forgiveness is acceptable as long as you say you’re sorry first. I am quick to point out hypocrisy, but have legitimate excuses for my own. I think you should chase me, make me feel important, overlook all that is wrong with me so I can tell you what is wrong with you. When you don’t meet my standard others will be the first to know. When things don’t go as I think they should, I’ll make sure to point out the error of your ways.

Who am I? I am… on my own. I am building the faith of my Father on my own terms, neither following Him nor living at peace with those around me. I am neither lost, nor am I a true disciple.

It’s day 3, and God is calling us to repent!

Job 34:33

33 Should God then reward you on your terms, when you refuse to repent? You must decide, not I; so tell me what you know.

Stripped Bare

I’m journeying the most difficult time in my life, praying for someone who has made some devastating decision, leaving me wounded and broken. I pray that God will change them, to let them see the error of their ways. In a moment that I will never forget, God speaks to me and says, “who are you that you should think your relationship with that person is more important than the relationship that they have with me?” I am silent, frozen in my tracks. God begins an awakening in me that I can only describe as Him putting His fingers in my eyes and mouth and ripping off my flesh. He holds it up in front of my face, and I begin to see me for who I really am. I am a sinner, messed up, walking a thin line between who I should be and who I truly am. I am two-faced, double-minded, yelling like a saint but living like a sinner. The literal agony and pain of seeing myself, and understanding what I have done to our God, my Savior, is almost unbearable. For weeks I carry this burden, seeing the pain I have inflicted on the One who came for me.

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

All that remains is repentance. From the depths of my soul I cry out in desperation for help, for death, for anything but this way of life. It’s the place where I say enough is enough, Lord I surrender, I turn to you. I have been divided, crushed, stripped bare.

Hebrews 4:12-13

Turn Around

I’ll never forget the overwhelming feeling as I drove the car through a very secluded area. It was like a scene out of the movies, as trees surrounded me, and the only light was that of the moon and my headlights. Then… the road suddenly narrowed to one-lane. There was something spiritually significant in the moment, as what I thought was fear, grasped my insides telling me to turn back. I drove another quarter of a mile when I suddenly came upon a car in the middle of the road, turned upside-down, windows shattered, and the doors spray-painted. In a moment, I felt as if eyes were watching me, waiting for the moment to attack. My senses literally went into overdrive, my vision narrowed, my breath quickened, and I quickly turned the car around and sped away. I never really “saw” anything, but I’ll never forget that I sensed “something” was out there. My experience led me to share the quick story with a man that I met, a native of the area. When I described to him where I had been, the look on his face sharpened, as he explained to me that I should have never been out there. The place that I had driven that night was known by the locals to be off-limits. Behind the trees that had surrounded me that night lived tribes of people who were known to practice witchcraft and Satanism. Because of it’s seclusion, even law-enforcement often stayed away. In that area, there had been over 100 murders over time, and many of the victims, who were family members of the tribes, had been sacrificed. I realized that what I thought had been fear in me had literally been God’s Spirit alerting me to turn around and get out of there. Had I kept down that path, there is no telling what could have happened.

Isn’t life the same way? I love the story of David in Psalm 139. As I read it, I get the picture of a man who is on the run. Everywhere he goes, God is there, and he finds that he can’t escape the powerful hand of God. In verse 5 David says, “You hem me in-behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.” In David’s searching and travel, we find God “hemming” him in. It’s almost as if God says, “stop running, there is no where you can go that I can’t get to you.” It’s that same voice that spoke to me that night as I traveled down the road that told me to stop driving that direction, and to turn around.

How many of us in our life are on a path that leads to destruction? It may be a road traveled with pride, anger, lust, immorality, lying, cheating, hatred, bitterness, or divisiveness. God is telling you and me to stop running. Stop going down that path, there is nowhere we can go that His hand cannot reach.

Turn around and go the other way. That is what it means to repent. Where in your life is God calling you to stop running, turn around… repent?

Psalm 139

Let's Pray

I saw a homeless man today. He had a sign that said he was hungry. I had $20 in my wallet. After I finished eating across the street, I went and talked to him. I told him, "hey, even though I'm not helping you or giving you any money or food doesn't mean I'm not praying for you. In fact, I've got a whole bunch of people praying for you.

Then I came across a young man, strung out on some sort of drug. He was crying, pleading for help. I had my cell phone in my pocket. I had just left the hospital after visiting a friend. I walked up to the young man and I told him, "hey, just because I'm not calling someone to get you the help you need doesn't mean I'm not praying for you. In fact, I'm going to get a lot of people to pray for you."

Next, I came upon a missionary. He and his family were giving their life to the mission of God, as we all should. He and his wife were working in the community, building relationships, and reaching people for Christ. He told me of the vision that God had given him, and I could even see the fruits of his labor. I had some resources at my fingertips. I had just left an important meeting on missions with our local church. I told the man, "hey, just because I'm not giving you any resources doesn't mean I'm not praying for you. I tell you what, I'll even send an email to get people to pray for you."

Near the end of my day, I found a prostitute. Curled up against the wall, her eyes black and her mouth bleeding from where she had been beaten. I looked at her in disgust. Why has she chosen this path? I had a thought of helping her on my mind. I was running late for a conference-call dealing with poverty stricken women in our community. In passing, I told her, "Listen, give your life to Jesus. Even though I can't help you right now doesn't mean that I won't pray for you. How about if I get my entire church to pray for you?"

There is no doubt of the power of prayer. But the truth is that prayer is powerless when it is not combined with action. Prayer is a cop-out for us today. It is an excuse so we don't have to get our hands dirty. We pass judgment instead of passing on hope and love, and we deceive ourselves thinking that God actually honors our prayers when we do this.

Don't tell me that you'll pray for me. Walk with me, talk with me, show me the way.

The time for honoring ourselves with the convenience of prayer without deeds must end. Like a dead tree, that practice must be uprooted. It is merely the symptom of a dead faith.

Today with Frank

I met a man last week. His name is Frank. He's 86 years old, is a World War 2 Veteran and lives alone. His wife is long gone, and he has a brother he hasn't spoken to in a long time, and he has 2 adopted daughters. One of the daughters comes to see him fairly regularly to help him, and the other comes by to take from him.

A dear friend of mine has begun to look after Frank every week, and last week invited me to come with him. Last week was filled with stories of flying a B24 in WW2, and his work for Southwestern Bell. While I am deeply moved and challenged by the love that my friend is showing in taking care of this man that is not his family, there is a part of me that is deeply saddened to see Frank, so old, quite alone, with no one really around. It must be a terribly lonely place to be in life.

Today we met and went to eat Mexican food. Frank had shaved for the occasion. He combed over his hair from his left ear to the right. Quite a "part" I must say. He was out of his robe, wearing khaki's and a long sleeve. Amid moments of his forgetfulness, we had good conversation, talking about planes, the Spurs, and other topics. He shared at the table, "it's hell, not having someone to help you cook, or be a chef for you," as he asked for a take-home box for his remaining lunch. Dinner was already prepared for him tonight, no doubt. I don't really want to imagine what he must feel each day, having no one there.

After we ate, we went to Frank's old house that is being remodeled to be sold. He walked in and was so surprised at all of the work that had been done. My friend and I walked away looking at another part of a room, and Frank stood in the kitchen looking outside in the back yard that he planted 30+ years ago. He just stood there, grinding his teeth, and I could hear it from the next room. I wondered, "what is he thinking?" Have the years passed and dulled him in his senses to the point that he just looks and recalls memories? OR, is he as sharp as he appears to be, and is he "seeing" the memories in action?" He lived with his family in this house for over 30 years. A home for certain, full of memories, events (both forgettable and unforgettable), a life found within the walls of that place once called "home."

Now living in a senior citizen apartment complex, he doesn't get out of the house much. He doesn't mow his yard, and sometimes doesn't even let his dog out to use the bathroom outside. He smokes, even though I've never seen him, I just have the tainted clothes to prove it. He told me today that he planted his back yard at his old home. I wonder when the last time was that Frank saw something grow. I wonder what sort of "life" he has been around recently, as everything in his life seems to point to death.

I know, I know, there is a book out there called "Tuesday's with Morrie." I've never read it, but I know the premise. This isn't my book, and today's not Tuesday. It is Wednesday, and this is my Frank. I wonder what I will learn. Thanks Terry.

Hall of Fame

Hebrews 11, known as the Hall of Fame of Faith is perhaps my favorite part of the Bible. It's not some dogmatic doctrine for us to uphold. It is theologically meaty, and while it incapsulates many stories of adventure in just a few short lines, it is life changing for me... it is different... it paints a different story. It is a story that I long for. Don't get me wrong, I don't necessarily long to be imprisoned, burned, or sawed in two as the passage says. BUT, I do long to live a life that is worthy of such suffering. Sure, in my own way, relevant to my life, I have and am currently living under the suspicious nose of those who don't agree with the path that my family and I are following. But most of those are the "religious right."

It's interesting, because I view so much of "church" today based on an ability of "believers" to get others to like us. See, if I can get you to like me, then maybe you'll come back for more of what I have to say. That has been the path of the church over the last many years, as we've entertained people in hopes of getting them to like us or to "like church." And now there is a swing in the west that is more of a social gospel. Thank you! We need to be socially active in our communities and reaching the hungry, poor, and the rich who think they have everything, but have nothing. However, it seems in many ways that this too is just another form of getting people to like us. I don't intend to undermine the true desires of believers to really want to help people. But what bothers me about the social gospel movement is that it often lacks the call to Christ. Maybe this is for another post, but the call of Christ sounds like this: "follow me... go and sin no more... your sins are forgiven... repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand." These are all ways in which Jesus called us to Him. I fear that through some of our social reaching, we are simply giving people a drink of water without introducing them to the Living Water. I am concerned that we are feeding the hungry without introducing them to the Bread of Life. It's a delicate balance, because we cannot continue, as we have been, "targeting" people and only giving them what they need if they become a follower of Christ. That's wrong too! But we cannot give with a closed mouth.

You see, the ancients of old didn't just die because they fed the hungry. They didn't just die because they simply believed. They didn't die because they went to church, paid their tithe, joined a small group/Sunday school, and served in the church building. They died because their faith was revealed by their actions. Their actions were a constant movement of true love shown for people around them. Because of that love, they would not be silent. They would not close their mouths concerning the greatness of Christ. They did not do it out of condemnation, they did it out of love and Christ's power. They healed the sick, raised the dead, and as they marched off to their death, they were thankful that God considered them worthy of a life of suffering for His sake. It puts it into a completely different perspective when we view God's blessings in our life as houses, cars, careers, money, stability and safety. Consider the life of those that went before us. For us in the United States, today we are not faced with the prospect of dying for our faith. That time will come again. For us, the real question is are we willing to truly LIVE for Christ? For living in Christ is death, and that death is true life.

You know, on second thought, there is something in me that desires the tribulations of life like those in Hebrews 11. Then I would know that I'm alive! I do wonder how many of those people that were killed for their great faith were killed by "believers"? Perhaps that is the greatest danger for me today.

So much more to write about this, but that's all for now. Leave some thoughts.

Ikman and Jeremiah Wright

So my buddy Ikki asked me what I thought about Jeremiah Wright, and I thought it worthy of a post. ikman, starting it off hot. I must confess that I have not heard Jeremiah Wright first-hand, and I don't really trust the press to accurately depict facts. I know the tendency is to either agree with him or hate him. There's not much middle ground being taken. Having seen some of his comments, in context might I add, I think some of his remarks were grossly misrepresented out of context. However, some of his remarks are quite incendiary, and I believe fall more in line with opinion versus truth. As a believer, we are called to make a "right judgement" about those who are part of the body of Christ, and when we see a believer sinning, we are called to confront them out of love (1 Cor. 5, Matt.18:15-17). Our accountability hopefully leads them to repentance.

I don't understand Jeremiah's world, nor what brought him to make some of his comments. I think the issue for me is that he appears to be using his position to somewhat "bully" change. For instance, in his speeches about how governments lie, I'm not really sure of his message. Governments don't lie... people lie. It seems his words appear to be framed in such a way as for political purposes. I believe, that as a minister and messenger of the gospel, he should frame his words in a way to bring about social change through changing people's hearts and minds through the hope of Christ. In fact, isn't that the outcome of the cross and Jesus' work? He did not scream and yell condemning the unrighteous, he reached out to them to change their life by changing their heart and renewing their mind (John 12:47). He showed them life (John 10:10). There's no question that Wright speaks the truth about how American people have treated many people groups. I agree with him, but that's not just an American issue, it's a heart problem of all people. I also agree with the idea that as a nation, we will, can, have, and are paying for the misdeeds of the past, just as any other sin has a consequence. I think the reason so many people really get frustrated with his speech is because it is about America, and we often view our selves as the modern-day Israelites, God's chosen people. But we're not. Would we tend to agree more with him if he were saying these things about Iraq or Iran?

Unfortunately, there are many parts of his message that come across as angry, bitter, and loss of control. If we view him as a traditional pastor of a church, then his message certainly does not fit, and many are repulsed. If we view him as a prophet, which still happens today, then many become incensed and dispel him as crazy. Either way, the message of the Gospel is being lost in all of this, and it seems that it is another negative shot for Christ followers, because he has essentially condemned the sinner and not the sin.

I could write so much more, but, in closing, let me say this. Sadly, Reverend Jeremiah Wright's words have been used for political purposes. We hardly would have heard this had he not been the pastor of Barack Obama. But what is just as concerning is the lack of truth that is spoken in churches all across America every day and weekend. Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, Episcopal, Charismatic, and more speak a hollow message of the Gospel that is tailored for people with itching ears. You see, our churches are full of people who hardly hear the truth about God. They call themselves Christians, and yet they serve an impotent God, taking on a form of godliness, but denying His power. That's for another post. But the reality is that before we go condemning Wright for his words, we better evaluate the lack of truth that we accept in our life on a daily basis, and then spread it around to those around us.

Here We Go!

So, it's been a long time since I've blogged. Believe me, I'm bloated with all kinds of thoughts, musings, frustrations, and more. I'm ready to flood. There has been so much I have thought about writing lately, but haven't. So, I'm going to attempt to recall some of the thoughts I've had, and keep up-to-date on the new ones. Stop by and let's talk.